On Momentary Whimsical Pains


The moment when you finally realize that you don’t really matter to anyone anymore. It slams into you like a truck out of control. You never anticipated it and when it finally happens you are left shattered and broken. The pain kills you on the inside, but all you can do is stifle the agony and carry on. No one cares after all. In this world of I, me and mine, nothing and no one really matters to the other. You come to that point where you question your very existence. Why me? You constantly contemplate death and the peace that accompanies the night. Why couldn’t everyday and every second be as quiet and sombre as the night?

Do you ever really love somebody? Does that feeling translate into meaning? All it does is question your consciousness. Try as you may, as hard as you can, you are still going to feel as disappointed as the person next to you. Have you ever sat down and wondered why certain things happen?

Pain. That’s all I could feel, inside me growing like a fire, burning my very existence. Isn’t it sad to always be the other? Separation hurts. Actually the idea of separation or having to stay away is worse. Sacrifice, compromise, all these words just inflict more pain. Why do some have to sacrifice more than the other? Every step seems to be borrowed time. Catharsis. Does it help? No, it does not. It just makes you realize your human worth and believe me that isn’t much.

That feeling of high headedness (if that is a word) brings you momentary pleasure. But the pain you feel after that would be magnified six times over. Why? Why do we put ourselves through so much pain? This is the moment when you start thinking, when a moment of silence should be observed.


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